Stories of Unpredictability

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Stories on stories on stories, these past few days, weeks, months. The stories unfold so quickly, each bleeds into the next. Before I can share one, another is writing itself.

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a long-awaited weather window that would allow us to sail south to the Sounds, but my replacement for a broken phone (under warranty) that I’ve been waiting a month for was going to arrive any day, I hadn’t been sleeping well due to the cold and dripping condensation on my face at night, and I wanted to finish and send a series of long-overdue pieces to our patient supporters about living through COVID in New Zealand, a strange experience intensified by finding myself so far from my grandma (best friend and only biological family) when she fell and disappeared rapidly into dementia, leaving me to grieve and coordinate her care from across an ocean, behind closed borders...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, and looked down over the side of Windfola to see my new kayak (replacement for the one stolen 2 months ago) was half deflated, filled with water, with a gash in one side, and I was out of glue to patch it...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but needed water, so I cruised up through the port to the marina’s guest dock — the marina that welcomed me seven weeks ago when I hit my wrist and needed to go get X-rays —but after filling my tanks with water, I discovered my engine wouldn’t start again...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but instead, I limped into the marina, where a supportive community of local sailors welcomed us — again — with hugs, kayak-patching glue, a dehumidifier, and fresh kiwifruit; and a kind marina manager helped me procure a discounted new start battery.

Stories on stories on stories. Kindness on kindness on kindness. Silver linings to every dark cloud. Exhausted and grateful and frustrated with myself for not writing more, faster, sooner... but just letting the stories unfold, hour by hour, day by day, week by week. This is solo sailing around the world: full of emotions, challenges, wins, rewards, and — most of all — unpredictability.

Lighting a Lamp For Child Welfare Reform

“‘Let me light my lamp,’ says the star, ‘And never debate if it will help to remove the darkness.’” - Rabindranath Tagore

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I have spent months reviving my lamp. The flame had grown weak, and the brass, tarnished. I polished it for many weeks, discarding blackened rags one after the other. I washed the clouded glass with my tears until it was as clear as mid-ocean waters. I refilled the empty well. It was an abyss; I had burned down all the oil. Now, the flame is bright and strong enough to shine through even the darkest of these unexpected winter nights in New Zealand.

This past week, I’ve been listening to what is happening in the US. I’ve sought out new voices to help me understand our history of institutionalized racism & oppression. Kelsang Gyatso said, “Listening is a lamp that dispels the darkness of ignorance.”

I’m ready to speak here again, but at this moment, more than any sailing story, this is the one that must be told first. . .

For every black adult victim of systemic racism in the US, there are many more black children harmed every day, because inequities in every society start with our young.

I’ve been learning & grappling with a truth I’ve known for years. The privilege granted me by the color of my skin led to a far different foster care experience than that of black children, who:

• are 2x more likely to enter the foster care system than white children

• primarily enter care for neglect (due to poverty), not abuse

• have the highest prevalence of having parental rights terminated

• are less likely to be adopted than white children

• have the highest rate of moving from child protection to juvenile detention

If we want to dismantle racism in America, we must start here. Black Children Matter, so I support not only criminal justice reform, but also child welfare system reform.

How you can learn/support this:

• in Minnesota: pass the African American Family Preservation Act- see https://www.preserveourfamilies.org, give to Amherst H. Wilder Foundation’s Kofi program to provide black children with school-based mental health care, give to EVOLVE Family Services UMOJA MN camp

• Nationally: support the Children's Defense Fund, and national efforts to reform the child welfare system, like through the National Coalition for Child Protection Reform.

• Locally: seek out orgs serving poor black families & foster kids like Amara in WA state, Black Family And Children Services in AZ. Call your reps and tell them that #blackchildrenmatter, especially those in poverty, homelessness, and foster care.

Let us light our lamps and, together, remove the darkness.

-

Further reading/selected sources:

• https://youthtoday.org/2018/02/found-black-foster-parents-confronted-racial-disparity-foster-care/

• https://nccpr.org

• this brief TED talk https://youtu.be/c15hy8dXSps

• EYE OPENING READ https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/21/nyregion/foster-care-nyc-jane-crow.html

• https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/racial_disproportionality.pdf

• https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/GAOREPORTS-GAO-07-816/html/GAOREPORTS-GAO-07-816.htm

• https://www.childtrends.org/indicators/foster-care

• https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/foster.pdf

Finding Safe Harbor in the Time of a Global Pandemic

It’s been a whirlwind, but we’re ok.

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We were off-the-grid when COVID-19 hit pandemic status, & the New Zealand government locked down the country. We temporarily had a US sailor friend aboard who was touring NZ, but borders were closed & flights were cancelled. So our friend is stuck, and technically supposed to remain in our (34-foot!) bubble (for four weeks!)

When we reached cell signal & heard the news, we were low on food, fuel, & water. Marinas aren’t accepting new tenants, but will allow us to tie up for an hour or two to re-provision.

Liveaboards are supposed to stay put unless moving for safety or necessities. It’s important to me to be a respectful guest in this wonderful country, & to help prevent the spread of the virus. It took us awhile to figure out and execute the right long-term plan for a safe self-isolation into the winter months.

We feel lucky to be here, but we are concerned about our community (I have sick friends at home, & my grandma fell and is now in a facility).

I’ve also been thinking a lot about how this pandemic must be affecting the foster care community, as carers now have limited support whilst caring full-time for children (many with special needs). Now, more than ever, it is important to me to raise awareness about the needs of these families.

Once we settle into safe harbor, I plan to continue bringing attention to ways we can help the foster care community, while also sharing joyful glimpses into the beauty of this life.

Stay safe, stay kind, & stay generous. It’s the only way forward, because we are all in this together.