Stories of Unpredictability

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Stories on stories on stories, these past few days, weeks, months. The stories unfold so quickly, each bleeds into the next. Before I can share one, another is writing itself.

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a long-awaited weather window that would allow us to sail south to the Sounds, but my replacement for a broken phone (under warranty) that I’ve been waiting a month for was going to arrive any day, I hadn’t been sleeping well due to the cold and dripping condensation on my face at night, and I wanted to finish and send a series of long-overdue pieces to our patient supporters about living through COVID in New Zealand, a strange experience intensified by finding myself so far from my grandma (best friend and only biological family) when she fell and disappeared rapidly into dementia, leaving me to grieve and coordinate her care from across an ocean, behind closed borders...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, and looked down over the side of Windfola to see my new kayak (replacement for the one stolen 2 months ago) was half deflated, filled with water, with a gash in one side, and I was out of glue to patch it...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but needed water, so I cruised up through the port to the marina’s guest dock — the marina that welcomed me seven weeks ago when I hit my wrist and needed to go get X-rays —but after filling my tanks with water, I discovered my engine wouldn’t start again...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but instead, I limped into the marina, where a supportive community of local sailors welcomed us — again — with hugs, kayak-patching glue, a dehumidifier, and fresh kiwifruit; and a kind marina manager helped me procure a discounted new start battery.

Stories on stories on stories. Kindness on kindness on kindness. Silver linings to every dark cloud. Exhausted and grateful and frustrated with myself for not writing more, faster, sooner... but just letting the stories unfold, hour by hour, day by day, week by week. This is solo sailing around the world: full of emotions, challenges, wins, rewards, and — most of all — unpredictability.

'Lectronic Latitude Article Out— PPJ Learnings, Part Three: Having Fun!

I’m so excited to see this in print; it’s the final installment of my three-part series on lessons learned while cruising the Pacific last year! It was really important to me to distill what my friends and I learned to help cruisers to come, and I hope you’ll check out the whole series. Here’s an excerpt from Part Three, about having a whale of a time:

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“For first-time Puddle Jumpers, the journey across the Pacific really is a leap — a leap of faith. It’s a decision to cast off the security of your docklines and venture into challenges unknown, to surrender to the will of wind and sea, and to believe that somewhere in the warm trade winds, your soul will find satisfaction. A successful cruise is about more than just being well provisioned and keeping the boat moving; it’s about creating a tapestry of unique memories that will last you a lifetime. While alumni from 2019’s PPJ had many practical tips for sailing the South Pacific, they had far more thoughts on how to craft a satisfying journey.

The Long Passage

Every boat is different, but we all pass through the initiation of sailing 2800-4000 nm across the Pacific Ocean. When you’re not busy with sailing, staying entertained is key. “Audiobooks are a must!” says Jolanda de Boer of Bliss, a Pearson 385 from Berkeley. Others, like singlehander James Mace of Moonrise from Falmouth, UK, recommend listening to podcasts.

“If we didn’t have movies, we would have gone crazy,” said Cody Heath of Zoë from Houston. Bring high-capacity external hard drives to facilitate sharing digital media (as well as cruising guides, weather data, and e-charts).

“Take advantage of calm moments when there aren’t any issues,” advised Katie Nolet of Zoë. “Use this time to do stuff that’s good for the soul, because you may not find time for it otherwise.””

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Go read the rest on ‘Lectronic Latitude!

"Make me an instrument of peace . . . "

not every day is easy, but every day that I look into these eyes, I feel lucky. Zia loves in a way that is different from any love I’ve ever felt. She forgives quickly. She’s patient. She’s always ready to be happy together again. And when I have a hard day, like today, she comes to me to check in, and offers to wipe my tears away... (errr... but, with her tongue, so there’s definitely some room for improvement in her tissue technique).

Lately, life has been amazing and overwhelming, blessed and challenging. I’m lucky to encounter so much kindness in my life, but when I encounter unkindness (however infrequently), it still makes my stomach sink and my heart drop. I struggle to share about it when it’s happening, but I’m trying to find positive ways to talk about some of the challenges I face out here as a solo young woman.

I’ve always been sensitive, and perhaps all of the time with nature has made me struggle more with mankind. I know we are all imperfect, but I think we must set an intention to not lash out meanly at each other. I want us to love each other the way Zia loves me: with a kind and generous heart.

There was no faith or organized religion in my childhood, so I am discovering prayer late in life. I heard this one recently — perhaps known to many people — and it resonated deeply with me. Lately, no matter what happens each day, this is the prayer my soul is speaking:

“Make me an instrument of peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, and it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”

Thank you, Zia, for being this prayer embodied. I love you.