Hauling Out!

Our hardstand boat life for the next week: scroll through the photos to spot all the boat projects (and what Zia’s up to...!)

First: studying the design schematics for the rudder so I can drop it, inspect, and repair the gland, which is leaking rusty water droplets

Then, replacing the cutlass bearing — that’s the bearing in the strut that comes off of Windfola’s hull to support the propeller shaft.

Servicing all of the through-hulls, and cleaning out the barnacles of growth inside , sanding and fairing some chips out of the bottom, re-doing the anti-fouling paint to prevent bringing invasive species from one NZ port to another, and popping a couple of small blisters in her hull.

During the brief motor around to the travelift well at Bridge Marina Travelift the engine died , but thank goodness for Tony & the fella on the runabout here at Tauranga Bridge Marina, who towed and glided us into the dock with ease. Tony says, “Remember the first rule? Don’t panic!” And it’s much easier not to when you’ve got pro help like him around!

Zia is visiting the lovely Pammie’s super cool boat kids so she can be happier and more at peace while I give Windfola her TLC. Thank goodness for beautiful friends like them, and for sailors helping sailors! We are so lucky and thankful to have landed here.

Time to go to work...

Going "Home" to Tauranga

Have you ever left a place, returned, and felt you’d come home? After three weeks out cruising the coast of the Coromandel, we returned last night to Tauranga Bridge Marina . . . and home. ❤️

Sailors always help each other, but the sailing family we’ve found here is extra special. I decided to return to Tauranga because Windfola needs TLC on her bottom; we are overdue to haul-out. I’ve been fighting an ear infection for a week, so I arrived feeling tired & nauseous, on an ebb tide with a lot of current. Though she’s away right now, the local and ever-nurturing Sonya made time for a chat to boost my confidence before I came into the harbor. Then boat neighbor Pammie — and goddess in her own right — came to catch our lines. The endlessly kind marina manager, Tony, kept an eye out for my sails, & sent me a kindly text reminder as the light waned to turn on my nav lights. He came out in the runabout to boost us into the slip if the current fought me too much.

Dock lines were secured and then a whole parade of friendly faces came by — sweet Thami, Sonya’s Trevor, and another local lady sailor/racer, Rachael. Everyone smiled & welcomed us back, with pets for Zia & hugs for me. We were offered dinner company, an invite to a game night, & rides to the grocery store.

Today, I was loaned tools for the projects ahead — like a cutlass bearing extractor! — and offered more support in the boatyard then I could ever have imagined. People here genuinely care and want to see us succeed at the big (surprise!) sailing project I have planned for the next six months. The boatyard owner has kindly squeezed us in and offered a terrific deal at one of the best DIY yards around, Tauranga Bridge Travelift . 🙌🍀

Family is something you create. Home is wherever you open your heart to others, and they reciprocate. A shepherd that I met recently on Great Mercury Island told me, “Why have enemies when you can have friends? Being grumpy doesn’t achieve anything.” In these times, it feels especially important to remember that it really is that simple.

The shepherd also said, “When it’s raining porridge, hold out your bowl!” 😂 New Zealand, and especially Tauranga, thanks for filling my bowl! 🙏❤️

View fullsize

Stories of Unpredictability

View fullsize

Stories on stories on stories, these past few days, weeks, months. The stories unfold so quickly, each bleeds into the next. Before I can share one, another is writing itself.

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a long-awaited weather window that would allow us to sail south to the Sounds, but my replacement for a broken phone (under warranty) that I’ve been waiting a month for was going to arrive any day, I hadn’t been sleeping well due to the cold and dripping condensation on my face at night, and I wanted to finish and send a series of long-overdue pieces to our patient supporters about living through COVID in New Zealand, a strange experience intensified by finding myself so far from my grandma (best friend and only biological family) when she fell and disappeared rapidly into dementia, leaving me to grieve and coordinate her care from across an ocean, behind closed borders...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, and looked down over the side of Windfola to see my new kayak (replacement for the one stolen 2 months ago) was half deflated, filled with water, with a gash in one side, and I was out of glue to patch it...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but needed water, so I cruised up through the port to the marina’s guest dock — the marina that welcomed me seven weeks ago when I hit my wrist and needed to go get X-rays —but after filling my tanks with water, I discovered my engine wouldn’t start again...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but instead, I limped into the marina, where a supportive community of local sailors welcomed us — again — with hugs, kayak-patching glue, a dehumidifier, and fresh kiwifruit; and a kind marina manager helped me procure a discounted new start battery.

Stories on stories on stories. Kindness on kindness on kindness. Silver linings to every dark cloud. Exhausted and grateful and frustrated with myself for not writing more, faster, sooner... but just letting the stories unfold, hour by hour, day by day, week by week. This is solo sailing around the world: full of emotions, challenges, wins, rewards, and — most of all — unpredictability.

Nature, Love, and Safety

When I was a child, I had the fortune to go to sleep-away girl scout camp on a scholarship, and that’s where I felt love and safety for the first time in my little life. It was in the middle of a coastal forest on the West Coast, and we slept in tents or open-structured buildings with all of Mother Earth’s creatures for company. There were always trees around us, holding us in their calming presence. So many strong, loving women, taught us to sing together in one voice. The song I remember best is always in my head when I walk in the forest, and I heard it there today:

“Green trees around us,
blue skies, above.
Friends all around us,
in a world filled with love.”

Mr. Rogers said — and I believe — that love is a verb, an active word, like struggle. I see much struggle, but also much love, in our world right now, and I am glad for it. I would rather have and build that kind of love.

I found a safe, quiet, peaceful place to nurture my soul today. I hope you found space for that, too. xx

p.s. The mountain had a message at the top for us! Scroll to the last photo, and take heart.

Lighting a Lamp For Child Welfare Reform

“‘Let me light my lamp,’ says the star, ‘And never debate if it will help to remove the darkness.’” - Rabindranath Tagore

View fullsize

I have spent months reviving my lamp. The flame had grown weak, and the brass, tarnished. I polished it for many weeks, discarding blackened rags one after the other. I washed the clouded glass with my tears until it was as clear as mid-ocean waters. I refilled the empty well. It was an abyss; I had burned down all the oil. Now, the flame is bright and strong enough to shine through even the darkest of these unexpected winter nights in New Zealand.

This past week, I’ve been listening to what is happening in the US. I’ve sought out new voices to help me understand our history of institutionalized racism & oppression. Kelsang Gyatso said, “Listening is a lamp that dispels the darkness of ignorance.”

I’m ready to speak here again, but at this moment, more than any sailing story, this is the one that must be told first. . .

For every black adult victim of systemic racism in the US, there are many more black children harmed every day, because inequities in every society start with our young.

I’ve been learning & grappling with a truth I’ve known for years. The privilege granted me by the color of my skin led to a far different foster care experience than that of black children, who:

• are 2x more likely to enter the foster care system than white children

• primarily enter care for neglect (due to poverty), not abuse

• have the highest prevalence of having parental rights terminated

• are less likely to be adopted than white children

• have the highest rate of moving from child protection to juvenile detention

If we want to dismantle racism in America, we must start here. Black Children Matter, so I support not only criminal justice reform, but also child welfare system reform.

How you can learn/support this:

• in Minnesota: pass the African American Family Preservation Act- see https://www.preserveourfamilies.org, give to Amherst H. Wilder Foundation’s Kofi program to provide black children with school-based mental health care, give to EVOLVE Family Services UMOJA MN camp

• Nationally: support the Children's Defense Fund, and national efforts to reform the child welfare system, like through the National Coalition for Child Protection Reform.

• Locally: seek out orgs serving poor black families & foster kids like Amara in WA state, Black Family And Children Services in AZ. Call your reps and tell them that #blackchildrenmatter, especially those in poverty, homelessness, and foster care.

Let us light our lamps and, together, remove the darkness.

-

Further reading/selected sources:

• https://youthtoday.org/2018/02/found-black-foster-parents-confronted-racial-disparity-foster-care/

• https://nccpr.org

• this brief TED talk https://youtu.be/c15hy8dXSps

• EYE OPENING READ https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/21/nyregion/foster-care-nyc-jane-crow.html

• https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/racial_disproportionality.pdf

• https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/GAOREPORTS-GAO-07-816/html/GAOREPORTS-GAO-07-816.htm

• https://www.childtrends.org/indicators/foster-care

• https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/foster.pdf

Theft of Our Dinghy!

Yesterday, we went ashore to walk to the nearest grocery store (90 minutes away!) I landed the kayak on a tiny beach by a quay at the foot of Mount Maunganui; it’s at the end of a road beyond the signs saying the mountain’s park is closed.

When we returned, our kayak was gone. Who would steal someone’s dinghy right now?!

It’s like having your car stolen. It’s how we haul groceries, food, and water; it’s how we get ashore for walks, or for emergencies. It’s especially important right now, since we aren’t permitted to get a slip in a marina.

New Zealand is in an extremely strict lockdown. You can’t buy anything online that isn’t deemed an “essential” good by the government. It appears that Trademe — New Zealand’s eBay/Craigslist — isn’t permitting sales or shipments for inflatable kayaks right now.

View fullsize

The police were so helpful and kind when I called them last night. With their understanding, we borrowed a small yellow canoe from shore so that we could get home. I’m really thankful for how smoothly it all went... and at how little it ruffled me. I really believe that these things usually lead to something good, if you just trust and stay kind. The universe is surely making room to bring us something lovely.

So, I’m putting it out to my community here: If you happen to know anyone in the area that might be able to sell & drop off an inflatable kayak for us in the Tauranga/Mount Maunganui area, it would be a huge help! Or perhaps you know someone who could ship us one — like someone at the awesome Sevylor — or a local who could receive the shipment here for us. Any help would be so so greatly appreciated! Thank you!

And, above all, please be kind right now. We really are all in this together.

—

UPDATE: Thank you so SO much for the outpouring of support! You all make my heart so happy; it's like receiving a big hug!  A member of a NZ women's sailing group shared this to her community, secured us a one-person rigid kayak to use for the duration of our stay here, and towed it out to us!  I'm so happy that we have a way to get to shore again, especially so we can return Little Yellow.

We still need to replace our inflatable, as there just isn't enough room on deck to stow a rigid kayak for passages. Thank you SO MUCH to the members of this community that reached out to contribute some $ to our kayak-purchasing fund! A new one is certainly beyond my means right now, so I cannot express how grateful I am for the help, especially at such a dear time for so many. I promise to pay this forward in every way possible.

Wishing you love and kindness. xo

Finding Safe Harbor in the Time of a Global Pandemic

It’s been a whirlwind, but we’re ok.

View fullsize

We were off-the-grid when COVID-19 hit pandemic status, & the New Zealand government locked down the country. We temporarily had a US sailor friend aboard who was touring NZ, but borders were closed & flights were cancelled. So our friend is stuck, and technically supposed to remain in our (34-foot!) bubble (for four weeks!)

When we reached cell signal & heard the news, we were low on food, fuel, & water. Marinas aren’t accepting new tenants, but will allow us to tie up for an hour or two to re-provision.

Liveaboards are supposed to stay put unless moving for safety or necessities. It’s important to me to be a respectful guest in this wonderful country, & to help prevent the spread of the virus. It took us awhile to figure out and execute the right long-term plan for a safe self-isolation into the winter months.

We feel lucky to be here, but we are concerned about our community (I have sick friends at home, & my grandma fell and is now in a facility).

I’ve also been thinking a lot about how this pandemic must be affecting the foster care community, as carers now have limited support whilst caring full-time for children (many with special needs). Now, more than ever, it is important to me to raise awareness about the needs of these families.

Once we settle into safe harbor, I plan to continue bringing attention to ways we can help the foster care community, while also sharing joyful glimpses into the beauty of this life.

Stay safe, stay kind, & stay generous. It’s the only way forward, because we are all in this together.

Cast Off the Docklines and Believe

After so many weeks staying put in one place and working hard, it feels so good and so right that Windfola is moving again. Tomorrow we are planning a big shakedown sail, and if all goes smoothly, we’ll depart the next day to cruise down the east coast of the North Island of New Zealand.

Sitting here by the light of Windfola’s oil lamp, rocking gently on our mooring, I’ve been remembering the beauty of long days at sea with incredible sunsets like this one. It was memories like this, coupled with a poem by Pat Schneider, that kept me going through the last few weeks of labor. To those of you who, like me, are working with a focused discipline... don’t forget the equal importance of just casting off the docklines and believing.

YOUR BOAT, YOUR WORDS

Your boat, they will tell you,
cannot leave the harbor
without discipline.

But they will neglect to mention
that discipline has a vanishing point,
an invisible horizon where belief takes over.

They will not whisper to you the secret
that they themselves have not fully understood: that
belief is the only wind with breath enough
to take you past the deadly calms, the stopped motion
toward that place you have imagined,
the existence of which you cannot prove
except by going there.

- Pat Schneider

View fullsize

Day 6 of 25, singlehanding from CA to The Marquesas, French Polynesia

A Terrible Accident :(

Zia was in an accident four days ago, and that’s how we met Ella, an animal whisperer from a family of angels.

View fullsize

Today Zia was sedated for a final X-ray, which confirmed there’s been no damage to her organs or bones. I’ve always thought she was resilient... but I’m totally dumbfounded that she is this ok after being run over by both wheels of a fast-moving mountain bike.

I am SO grateful for Ella’s kind parents and brother swooping in to care for us in our moment of need. After Zia was run over, I was more scared than I’ve ever felt in even our worst moments at sea. She made horrifying cries and her whole body crumpled up. Ella’s family showed up, drove us 30 minutes to the nearest emergency vet, comforted both of us, and let us spend an evening in their home while we monitored Zia post-accident. She began to perk up once the pain meds kicked in, and she’s been rapidly improving ever since. (Truthfully, she’s recovering faster than me...)

We’ve been taking it easy the last few days because Zia’s bruised and sore... which means that *just* as our boat projects finished and we could haul anchor, we’ve yet again had to postpone our departure for the South Island. The ocean has been calling loudly to me for weeks, and I’ve been yearning for freedom... but must just believe that all is as it’s meant to be.

And despite the awful circumstances, I’m glad for both of us that we got to meet Ella and her lovely family. They’ve reminded me that we can all bring more goodness into the world by just choosing to care for one another.

"Make me an instrument of peace . . . "

not every day is easy, but every day that I look into these eyes, I feel lucky. Zia loves in a way that is different from any love I’ve ever felt. She forgives quickly. She’s patient. She’s always ready to be happy together again. And when I have a hard day, like today, she comes to me to check in, and offers to wipe my tears away... (errr... but, with her tongue, so there’s definitely some room for improvement in her tissue technique).

Lately, life has been amazing and overwhelming, blessed and challenging. I’m lucky to encounter so much kindness in my life, but when I encounter unkindness (however infrequently), it still makes my stomach sink and my heart drop. I struggle to share about it when it’s happening, but I’m trying to find positive ways to talk about some of the challenges I face out here as a solo young woman.

I’ve always been sensitive, and perhaps all of the time with nature has made me struggle more with mankind. I know we are all imperfect, but I think we must set an intention to not lash out meanly at each other. I want us to love each other the way Zia loves me: with a kind and generous heart.

There was no faith or organized religion in my childhood, so I am discovering prayer late in life. I heard this one recently — perhaps known to many people — and it resonated deeply with me. Lately, no matter what happens each day, this is the prayer my soul is speaking:

“Make me an instrument of peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, and it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”

Thank you, Zia, for being this prayer embodied. I love you.

Learning About the R. Tucker Thompson Tall Ship

Yesterday I met one of the men who built this gorgeous tall ship, the R. Tucker Thompson, and sailed it all over the world for a variety of programs. He had incredible stories, and took Zia & me down to tour it! I climbed to the top of the forward mast, something I’ve always wanted to try... but can’t imagine doing at sea!

View fullsize

What’s particularly awesome about the RTT is that she’s in a community trust to benefit Northland youth. She’s a working ship all summer—taking tourists out onto the Bay every day—but all the profits fund their youth development sailing program in the winter, offering week-long sail training experiences to children 13-18, designed to build confidence, leadership, and teamwork while teaching about the history, culture, and environment of the region. According to their website, “Over 90% of schools in the Far North are classified as Decile 1 or Decile 2 meaning they are the poorest communities in New Zealand. 100% of all donations go towards youth placements and your donation goes towards providing grants for students.” Donors can also sponsor a child, covering the entire cost for the one-week adventure. The program offers payment plans to help families out, with subsidized prices for local youth.

I can’t emphasize enough how much outdoor education really saved me when I was in foster care. There was no sailing in the area where my group homes were, but a program did take us to a horse stables where we could care for farm animals and learn to ride. It was incredibly therapeutic, just as I imagine this youth development sailing program is for similar kids here.

The annual tall ship race is next weekend, and I’m excited to see her and some other visiting tall ships fly across the Bay.

For more info on their programs or to donate, checkout their website! https://tucker.co.nz/